What Title Can I Possibly Put On This?
January 28, 2009 06:13 PM
I don’t really expect anyone to actually read all of
this. But if you have a strong constitution and
appreciate Catch 22 types of situations, read on.
1. Last July: I get my first ever moving violation for making an illegal right turn from a lane that required all traffic pass straight through the intersection. That’s right! I have had a perfect driving record for my entire life until last July.
2. Several weeks later, I get a bill in the mail for the ticket. $75. I promptly forget about it.
3. A few weeks later I get a notice.
"Oh crap! That's right, I never paid that."
Now that I have missed the payment deadline, I have to go to traffic court and tell the judge why I didn't pay it, and then, um...pay it. $212. Court date is set for Sept 3rd.
4. The morning of September 3rd arrives. I have the money and cleared my afternoon schedule to stand in line at traffic court.
5. While driving to my first work appointment I get a call from my Doctor.
"Jim, the biopsy tests came back positive for melanoma. I need you in my office right away for an emergency biopsy of the spot on the side of your head. I need to do surgery right away so we can identify the source of the melanoma.”
6. I went straight to my doc and he did the surgery on my head. Needless to say, I did NOT make it to traffic court that day.
7. Over the weekend I tell myself,
“Okay, I blew it in court. But they will have to understand. I'll go in next week and explain everything and see if I can pay the fine.”
8. The following week my doctor sets up several appointments for MRI scans and meetings with cancer specialists at SFSU. And no, I did not make it to court to explain my situation.
9. More test results, more meetings with doctors, surgery is scheduled. I get pulled into the vortex of living with cancer. I put all of my energy into my recovery...well, that and blogging. ; )
10. October: major surgery, several days in the hospital and several weeks recovering at home.
11. November: Several weeks of radiation.
12. December: A horrible month of interferon treatment.
13. January: I begin to recover from the whole ordeal. I look at the very tall stack of mail I have not dealt with during most of this time.
"Hmm, I better start getting to some of this stuff..."
14. I go back in time and open the envelopes by delivery date. Over several letters from different agencies in the county, I read the following announcements.
* Your auto insurance has expired.
* Your drivers license is about to be revoked for not appearing in court, please pay $400 to make all of this go away.
* We have recently been notified that you are no longer an insured driver. Please provide proof of insurance before X date.
* You still have not paid the $400 for failing to appear in court, we are now revoking your license.
* We still do not have proof of insurance, your auto registration has been revoked and you are not allowed to drive the vehicle.
* Your license is now revoked. Please mail your actual driver's license to the traffic court before X date or you will be fined.
15. I run out to my car to look at my insurance card. It says my policy expires this March!
16. I call the insurance agency. I get an explanation I don't understand. But one thing I do understand is, I am, in fact, without insurance. I pay $200 to reinstate the policy. I give my credit card number over the phone.
The woman on the phone says, “Okay all done.”
I say “Wait. I need proof of insurance to get my registration reactivated on my car. Can you fax or mail something?”
She says, “Oh hold on. I’m seeing here that your driver's license has been revoked. We're not allowed to have policies with drivers who don't have driver's licenses. As soon as you get your license reactivated, we'll send proof of insurance.”
I say, “Let me get this straight. You took my money, but I don't have a policy?”
“Right,” she says.
17. A few days ago, I call the traffic court. I tell them the entire story. The guy on the phone doesn't care. He just wants a credit card number. I give my number and am charged for the full $400 fee.
He says, “You may still need to go to court to get your license back.”
“How do I find out if I need to go?” I ask.
He says, “Come into traffic court and ask at the desk. But wait a few days first so your payment today will get recorded”
18. Now it is TODAY, January 28th. I went to offices of the traffic court to see if the whole thing is cleared up yet, or if I still owe money or penalties. I want to take care of all of this.
19. I present my story to the woman behind the counter.
I say, “Do I need to get a new driver's license?
She says, “No. My computer shows that you have paid all the penalties.”
I say, “But the county wrote to me saying that my license had been revoked and I couldn't use it any more.”
“No,” she says, “It says here that they were about to revoke it but they never did.”
I ask about my vehicle registration.
She says, “Everything looks good.”
“What? You mean my registration was never cancelled?”
Nope. That never happened either.
20. “Okay,” I say, not about to argue. “Do I owe you anything.?”
“Yes,” she said, “There is still a $12 processing fee that hasn't been paid yet.”
I'm thinking, “But you just told me you didn't actually process anything!”
But I don't press my luck, I just pay it.
Finally I say to her, “I am now going to go to the DMV. Because by some bizarre coincidence, my driver's license actually expires next week on my birthday. I am going to get it renewed. Is there anything in your records that will prevent me from doing that?”
“No,” she says.
21. I drive to the DMV, stand in line and fill out the paperwork for a license renewal. While I'm waiting, I wonder how the insurance company can say my license was revoked, but the actual government agency says it never happened. But I don't care. All I'm thinking is, if I get my license renewed, I can get insurance. If I get insurance, I can get my car registered next month (when my current registration expires). I will be legal and can feel like a grown up again.
22. The woman at the DMV processes my paperwork.
“That will be $88,” she says.
I pay it. She starts to print out the receipt but then stops.
“Oh,” she says, “I have a stop order on your license.”
“Why?” I ask, starting to foam at the mouth. “I just took care of everything!”
“Did you ever live in Arizona?”
“Arizona? Yes for about three months in 1989! That was twenty years ago!”
She says, “Well, we have a record of an unpaid ticket in Arizona.”
“So what you are telling me is that I just paid you $88 for a license renewal fee, but I don't get a license.”
“Right,” she says.
23. “Okay,” I say, starting to get very steamed. “I have lived in the state of California for twenty years! TWENTY YEARS! During that time, I have renewed my driver's license no less than FIVE times! Why is this just showing up to stop me now?”
“Well, she said, it is all due to new rules from the Department of Homeland Security and several states are sharing information for the first time. I'm sorry,” she says, “but we don't have the authority to clear this or overlook it. Only the DMV in Arizona can do that.
“Thank you President Bush!” I mutter.
24. She gives me the phone number of the DMV in Arizona. I go outside to make the call. While I'm on hold, I think back to my brief stay in Arizona. I suddenly remember. In Phoenix, the street intersections are the size of football fields. I remember one day walking (Walking! No one walks in Phoenix! It is too damn hot!) and while walking along the crosswalk, I cut out halfway through the crosswalk to proceed diagonally to the curb to get to my destination sooner. A motorcycle cop pulls me over and gives me a ticket for JAYWALKING! I was supremely insulted. And more, I knew I was moving to California in a mere five days.
“F--- 'em,” I said. (well, I was twenty-four after all) “I ain't coming back to this state ever again.”
I never paid the ticket.
25. Back in the present and on the phone, I tell the woman at the Arizona DMV my story.
“1989?” She says. “Our computer records don't even go back that far. We have no way of canceling a record that doesn't exist.”
“Well, someone there must have a record of it because they shared the information with the state of California and now I can't get a driver’s license renewed here!”
I give her all of the information I had...my AZ driver's license number and the citation number.
“Well, I will look into this. Maybe we can fax something to the DMV in California showing that you don’t owe us anything.”
“How long will that take?”
“Well, usually 48 hours, but I'm going on vacation Friday, so you should expect it next week.”
So lets review shall we?
My insurance expired even though it didn’t, but it actually did. This caused my vehicle registration to be revoked, even though it wasn’t. I forgot to pay a traffic ticket and had to have last minute emergency surgery the day of my trial, for which I was fined $400, which I never paid because I had other things on my mind, like trying to stay alive. This resulted in me getting my driver’s license revoked, which actually wasn’t, but apparently was enough to stop my insurance company from issuing a policy, which requires a valid driver’s license to reinstate, which I didn’t have, but I actually did. And now that I am trying to legally renew this license which expires next week, I find that I cannot because I owe the state of Arizona for a ticket that they say I don’t actually owe on, but the state of California says I do.
It was just about then that my head went POP.
TO BE CONTINUED...
1. Last July: I get my first ever moving violation for making an illegal right turn from a lane that required all traffic pass straight through the intersection. That’s right! I have had a perfect driving record for my entire life until last July.
2. Several weeks later, I get a bill in the mail for the ticket. $75. I promptly forget about it.
3. A few weeks later I get a notice.
"Oh crap! That's right, I never paid that."
Now that I have missed the payment deadline, I have to go to traffic court and tell the judge why I didn't pay it, and then, um...pay it. $212. Court date is set for Sept 3rd.
4. The morning of September 3rd arrives. I have the money and cleared my afternoon schedule to stand in line at traffic court.
5. While driving to my first work appointment I get a call from my Doctor.
"Jim, the biopsy tests came back positive for melanoma. I need you in my office right away for an emergency biopsy of the spot on the side of your head. I need to do surgery right away so we can identify the source of the melanoma.”
6. I went straight to my doc and he did the surgery on my head. Needless to say, I did NOT make it to traffic court that day.
7. Over the weekend I tell myself,
“Okay, I blew it in court. But they will have to understand. I'll go in next week and explain everything and see if I can pay the fine.”
8. The following week my doctor sets up several appointments for MRI scans and meetings with cancer specialists at SFSU. And no, I did not make it to court to explain my situation.
9. More test results, more meetings with doctors, surgery is scheduled. I get pulled into the vortex of living with cancer. I put all of my energy into my recovery...well, that and blogging. ; )
10. October: major surgery, several days in the hospital and several weeks recovering at home.
11. November: Several weeks of radiation.
12. December: A horrible month of interferon treatment.
13. January: I begin to recover from the whole ordeal. I look at the very tall stack of mail I have not dealt with during most of this time.
"Hmm, I better start getting to some of this stuff..."
14. I go back in time and open the envelopes by delivery date. Over several letters from different agencies in the county, I read the following announcements.
* Your auto insurance has expired.
* Your drivers license is about to be revoked for not appearing in court, please pay $400 to make all of this go away.
* We have recently been notified that you are no longer an insured driver. Please provide proof of insurance before X date.
* You still have not paid the $400 for failing to appear in court, we are now revoking your license.
* We still do not have proof of insurance, your auto registration has been revoked and you are not allowed to drive the vehicle.
* Your license is now revoked. Please mail your actual driver's license to the traffic court before X date or you will be fined.
15. I run out to my car to look at my insurance card. It says my policy expires this March!
16. I call the insurance agency. I get an explanation I don't understand. But one thing I do understand is, I am, in fact, without insurance. I pay $200 to reinstate the policy. I give my credit card number over the phone.
The woman on the phone says, “Okay all done.”
I say “Wait. I need proof of insurance to get my registration reactivated on my car. Can you fax or mail something?”
She says, “Oh hold on. I’m seeing here that your driver's license has been revoked. We're not allowed to have policies with drivers who don't have driver's licenses. As soon as you get your license reactivated, we'll send proof of insurance.”
I say, “Let me get this straight. You took my money, but I don't have a policy?”
“Right,” she says.
17. A few days ago, I call the traffic court. I tell them the entire story. The guy on the phone doesn't care. He just wants a credit card number. I give my number and am charged for the full $400 fee.
He says, “You may still need to go to court to get your license back.”
“How do I find out if I need to go?” I ask.
He says, “Come into traffic court and ask at the desk. But wait a few days first so your payment today will get recorded”
18. Now it is TODAY, January 28th. I went to offices of the traffic court to see if the whole thing is cleared up yet, or if I still owe money or penalties. I want to take care of all of this.
19. I present my story to the woman behind the counter.
I say, “Do I need to get a new driver's license?
She says, “No. My computer shows that you have paid all the penalties.”
I say, “But the county wrote to me saying that my license had been revoked and I couldn't use it any more.”
“No,” she says, “It says here that they were about to revoke it but they never did.”
I ask about my vehicle registration.
She says, “Everything looks good.”
“What? You mean my registration was never cancelled?”
Nope. That never happened either.
20. “Okay,” I say, not about to argue. “Do I owe you anything.?”
“Yes,” she said, “There is still a $12 processing fee that hasn't been paid yet.”
I'm thinking, “But you just told me you didn't actually process anything!”
But I don't press my luck, I just pay it.
Finally I say to her, “I am now going to go to the DMV. Because by some bizarre coincidence, my driver's license actually expires next week on my birthday. I am going to get it renewed. Is there anything in your records that will prevent me from doing that?”
“No,” she says.
21. I drive to the DMV, stand in line and fill out the paperwork for a license renewal. While I'm waiting, I wonder how the insurance company can say my license was revoked, but the actual government agency says it never happened. But I don't care. All I'm thinking is, if I get my license renewed, I can get insurance. If I get insurance, I can get my car registered next month (when my current registration expires). I will be legal and can feel like a grown up again.
22. The woman at the DMV processes my paperwork.
“That will be $88,” she says.
I pay it. She starts to print out the receipt but then stops.
“Oh,” she says, “I have a stop order on your license.”
“Why?” I ask, starting to foam at the mouth. “I just took care of everything!”
“Did you ever live in Arizona?”
“Arizona? Yes for about three months in 1989! That was twenty years ago!”
She says, “Well, we have a record of an unpaid ticket in Arizona.”
“So what you are telling me is that I just paid you $88 for a license renewal fee, but I don't get a license.”
“Right,” she says.
23. “Okay,” I say, starting to get very steamed. “I have lived in the state of California for twenty years! TWENTY YEARS! During that time, I have renewed my driver's license no less than FIVE times! Why is this just showing up to stop me now?”
“Well, she said, it is all due to new rules from the Department of Homeland Security and several states are sharing information for the first time. I'm sorry,” she says, “but we don't have the authority to clear this or overlook it. Only the DMV in Arizona can do that.
“Thank you President Bush!” I mutter.
24. She gives me the phone number of the DMV in Arizona. I go outside to make the call. While I'm on hold, I think back to my brief stay in Arizona. I suddenly remember. In Phoenix, the street intersections are the size of football fields. I remember one day walking (Walking! No one walks in Phoenix! It is too damn hot!) and while walking along the crosswalk, I cut out halfway through the crosswalk to proceed diagonally to the curb to get to my destination sooner. A motorcycle cop pulls me over and gives me a ticket for JAYWALKING! I was supremely insulted. And more, I knew I was moving to California in a mere five days.
“F--- 'em,” I said. (well, I was twenty-four after all) “I ain't coming back to this state ever again.”
I never paid the ticket.
25. Back in the present and on the phone, I tell the woman at the Arizona DMV my story.
“1989?” She says. “Our computer records don't even go back that far. We have no way of canceling a record that doesn't exist.”
“Well, someone there must have a record of it because they shared the information with the state of California and now I can't get a driver’s license renewed here!”
I give her all of the information I had...my AZ driver's license number and the citation number.
“Well, I will look into this. Maybe we can fax something to the DMV in California showing that you don’t owe us anything.”
“How long will that take?”
“Well, usually 48 hours, but I'm going on vacation Friday, so you should expect it next week.”
So lets review shall we?
My insurance expired even though it didn’t, but it actually did. This caused my vehicle registration to be revoked, even though it wasn’t. I forgot to pay a traffic ticket and had to have last minute emergency surgery the day of my trial, for which I was fined $400, which I never paid because I had other things on my mind, like trying to stay alive. This resulted in me getting my driver’s license revoked, which actually wasn’t, but apparently was enough to stop my insurance company from issuing a policy, which requires a valid driver’s license to reinstate, which I didn’t have, but I actually did. And now that I am trying to legally renew this license which expires next week, I find that I cannot because I owe the state of Arizona for a ticket that they say I don’t actually owe on, but the state of California says I do.
It was just about then that my head went POP.
TO BE CONTINUED...