You know, in the past two years, I sure have had fun checking off big items from my to do list. For example, in the last two years I have

1. Endured a five month long audit with the I.R.S.,
2. Saw the end of my marriage,
3. Got diagnosed with cancer,
4. Endured extensive cancer treatments, complete with permanent hair loss.
5. Had my car disintegrate around my ears into a pile of spare parts.
6. Had my three best clients close their retainer contracts with me.
7. Persevered through a bureaucratic nightmare worthy of Kafka

And now I just don’t know how to follow it up. So I’ve compiled a list of some possible options, hoping you readers might select a favorite, or suggest one of your own. Which of these should I look into first?

1. Be falsely accused of a crime
2. Have my car stolen
3. Have my home blown up from a gas leak after an earthquake.
4. Regress to an infantile state, complete with fetal position and thumb sucking
5. Permanent impotence
6. Become a Jehovah’s Witness
7. Fall down an elevator shaft
8. Fall in love with a russian mail order bride named Boshka.

I just don’t know how to pick! They all sound terrific! What’s a guy supposed to do?

Of course somewhere between the first list and the second list, I have to squeeze in a second round of cancer surgery, which just happens to be happening tomorrow. So I’ll be out of blog contact for the next few days. I’ll post an update here as soon as I return home.

Some people sing in the shower. Some people whistle while they work. But for Depot Dad, my stage of choice is the front seat of my car.

Hey, as a self employed consultant, I spend plenty of time in the driver’s seat getting from appointment to appointment. And I have found that during these respites between serious brain work, I’m not inclined to listen to French Lessons, or the audio book version of The Brothers Karamazov. Oh no. After I slide behind the wheel, it’s show time, baby.

And for a few select songs (see below) that seem to hold me captive, I completely surrender to the groove, dancing and playing faux piano on my dashboard. Now unlike Susan Boyle, people within earshot of me are not likely to be standing and clapping. That’s why I was so happy to buy a car recently with tinted windows. So now, when I shift from Park to Drive, I can indulge in the most unrestrained arm flailing and head swinging.

And this seems to be the only place I really let myself go. So unless you are riding shotgun in the Depot Dadmobile, or there are suddenly plans for an all new T.V. show called “My Car’s Got Talent” no one is likely to be subjected to my private performances. Or so I thought.

This morning, during a particularly passionate and rocking chorus of Petty’s “American Girl” I was stopped at a stop light and I belted out the melodic high point of the song fully accompanied by epileptic body movements...

“God it’s so painful......when something that’s so close.......is still so far out of reeeeeaaaaaaccchhhhh!”

I opened my eyes and looked to my left to see a car with three gorgeous women laughing their asses off at me.
NOTE TO SELF: Tinted windows are of no use when you drive with the windows down.

So now I ask you, where do you give your best performances? And what is your preferred material? For the record, I have to sing out loud to these songs...

American Girl : Tom Petty
The Waiting: Tom Petty
Brand New Cadillac: The Clash
Waiting on a Friend : Rolling Stones
Beast of Burden: Rolling Stones
Sultans of Swing: Dire Straits
Wild West End: Dire Straits

Just a little more proof that people are, in fact, insane.

property of Lucasfilm Inc.

Remember in the beginning of the first Star Wars movie when Darth Vader picks up a guy and chokes him while interrogating him? Well, it turns out that that character actually has a name: Captain Antillies. AND even though the guy appeared on screen for less than 25 seconds (6 of them laying on the floor dead)...he now has his own overpriced action figure. Yes, I said ACTION figure! What is his action? Getting choked and thrown against the wall?

I spent the weekend in Los Angeles with my friend Scott. I’m up early on Monday morning and we will soon hit the road for the long haul back to San Francisco. I spent my time here catching up with family I have not seen in years, and it was great.

Last week I met with my doctor who had nothing to add to my situation. He simply said that we would wait until after my surgery to determine the follow up course of action. That literally was the entire doctors appointment. I rushed away from a perfect day at the Oakland zoo with Oliver and Amélie for that?

I’ll be back to a more frequent blogging schedule this week. I’m off of my meds and feeling GREAT. Now I’ve got to hit the road.

I don’t really have anything for you today, but here is something I like. I’ve become a bit obsessed with this recorded 1963 Brazil concert performance of Ray Charles since I found a few clips on You Tube. As luck would have it, more people have been posting other songs from the same show and it is all amazing.

But a highlight for me is this song. What I like about it, besides the fact that it is mindblowing, is how Ray is so generous with his band. Ray frequently gave show time to the talent he had gathered around him and I love how his vocals just contribute to the background here....until the end, when he lets loose.

Thanks, Ray.

And thank you, YouTube. Without YouTube, this show would likely have sat in a can for the rest of our lives.

If you ever wondered what it is like when you are diagnosed with cancer, you might want to visit this page...

There you will find an amazing video collection of the best roller coasters in the U.S. The “Tetsu” actually had me feeling seasick. Imagine a roller coaster where you hang from the track and lay flat like Superman flying through the air. It looks amazing and it is so strange to be flipping through the air and not be able to see the track or anticipate what is coming. Awesome!

At any rate, the whole point here is to let you know what my life is like right now. Ups. Downs. Corkscrews. Inversions. And the ever present risk of barfing.

Read More...

I had a very nice evening with a good friend last night. In the course of the evening, she let me know, very gently but also directly, that maybe, just maybe, I might have a tendency to give in to things just a little too easily. And I agreed. Her message basically was, there is no reason I have to accept what is happening to me gracefully and with resignation (and I admit that I often believe this is the path of courage and maturity). She wouldn’t go there with me.

She made it clear that I can also decide that this isn’t what I want and start believing in alternate destinies.

What a good friend.

You know, it is one thing for me to bring my codependent tendencies into relationships, but do I really have to be co-dependent with the universe too? Of course, the answer is no.

If the universe hands me bullshit, I have every right to slap the universe in the cheek with a cold dead fish.
“F*** You, Universe! You think you know what is going to happen? Well watch this!”

“Let the wild rumpus start!”

I just got off the phone with the results of my latest PET scan. It is not good news.

The little nodule on my lung, which has been small, innocuous, and has always been on the back burner, is now on the front burner. It got larger, and it is showing uptake. (Uptake is the term for lighting up on the cancer scan).

I will now begin a new battery of tests, biopsies, and examinations. If it turns out to be melanoma, I will be in a very serious situation.

More news as I get it...

I’m a computer guy. And I am constantly involved in keeping up with the latest news and trends in technology. I admit it, I love the feeling of being on the bleeding edge of discoveries and products that other people haven’t learned about yet. But it seems that in so many other parts of my life, I am WAY behind the curve. Here are some things I learned WAY after, I suspect, other people discovered it.

Learned to swim: 22 years old

Got my first driver’s license: 17 years old

Saw the ocean for the first time: 21 years old

Discovered why breakfast diners have bottles of hot sauce on the tables: 30 years old

Watched Singing In the Rain (and loved it by the way): 38 years old

Learned to ride a two wheeler bike: 7 years old

First Travelled abroad: 30 years old

Learned that the phrase “For all intents and purposes” is not actually “for all intensive purposes.”: 25 years old

Had my first lamb chop (oh God, how I wish I had discovered this earlier): 29 years old

Read Shakespeare: Okay, this hasn’t happened yet, but it is something I want to do this year. 44 years old

And what other things are ahead of me? Plenty of surprises, no doubt. I mean, it isn’t really possible to list things that you don’t know yet, right? But there are a few things I am aware of that are still in my future. Like: watching Its a Wonderful Life, understanding how escrow in real estate works, and learning how to properly fold clothes.

So if you are in your twenties or thirties, hell if you are any age, I’m just here to remind you that you don’t know it all. There are still meaningful discoveries ahead of you. Or then again, maybe everyone else has already done everything and I’m still just trying to catch up! Hey, wait up! I’m coming. I’m coming.